I'm supposed to be a person of Easter, which basically means, I should be focusing on hope, promise, new life, and fulfillment. But this year, I'm kind of stuck in Lent. Just FYI, Lent is the Season BEFORE Easter focusing on waiting, sacrifice, and silence. Easter is Hawaii all day. Lent is the Sahara at noon. Easter is lush. Lent is dry.
But anyway, while I'm getting the sand out from under my fingernails, can we just talk about the story of the prodigal son for a minute? A story that's usually read during Lent. I've heard it a zillion times -- a Dad with two sons splits up what he owns between his kids. One kid leaves home and goes nuts with all the money; the other kid stays behind obediently with his dad. Eventually the crazy kid runs out of money, comes back home to apologize and the dad is super excited and throws a party to welcome his "lost" son back home.
Now that we have the back story straight, nearly every time I've heard this story, the focus of the teaching on it has been on the crazy "lost" kid. The kid that took all the money greedily. The kid that traveled far away and had women, and luxuries, and made "bad" choices. The kid that then starved and worked with pigs and realized he needed to go back home and apologize. The kid that was welcomed by a party. And yeah, there are tidbits of the dad and the other brother. But mainly it's a story about straying from God, realizing that you've strayed, coming home, asking for forgiveness, and your return being celebrated. In which case, WE are the prodigal son and the Dad is GOD.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DAD? Yes, I get that this is a parable. A story about us being human, and God being Divine and forgiving and wonderful. But can we please focus more on the Dad for a moment? The Dad that survived losing someone that he loved. Losing someone to life, not death.
I've never been a parent or watched a son go "lost." But I HAVE had significant people leave my life suddenly. I HAVE been betrayed by family I've invested in. I HAVE allowed my best friends to make choices and splinter away to a new life they don't invite me into. And it SUCKS. And it's CONFUSING. And it HURTS. And it leaves a long-lasting impression on the soul. And it's HARD to get over. We have all been there. We have all lost someone we love to life. WE are the Dad.
The prodigal son. The prodigal friend. The prodigal family.
But how do we respond in those times? I often ask myself, "What would the Dad do?" Yup. The Dad in this story that I've heard a zillion times. What would he do if he were in my shoes, enduring this loss? What did he do when he realized his son had left him? Could he sleep at night? Was his heart hurt? And these types of questions make me think: What if the story isn't only about the lost one, but about the one left behind?
The Prodigal Son parable doesn't say that the Dad went traveling to find his lost son. It doesn't say that he sent a birthday card or a gift for Hanukkah. There were no deep conversations or rationalizations before the son left. I'm not sure the Dad knew this was going to happen. And while the son was gone, the Dad didn't try and coax him to come home. Nope. The Dad stayed behind, watched out for him, and patiently waited.
The Dad stayed behind in Lent.
Yeah, I'm sure in reality he was confused, angry and hurt, and thought that it sucked. I'm sure that the Dad cried and prayed for that soul every day. I'm sure he wondered and worried and hoped... maybe even blamed himself. I'm sure not a moment went by that his son wasn't missed. Not a moment went by that his son wasn't loved. But life still went on. Infinite love despite humanity.
We don't hear those details in the story. And I wish we did.
FAST FORWARD...
People go prodigal all of the time. They make decisions that we don't understand... some good, some bad. They go away suddenly and we get stuck blaming ourselves for their behavior. But maybe their departure really isn't about us; it's about them needing to find something out about themselves. It's about them needing to get away to have an experience ... maybe things or people or situations they think will be better or more fulfilling. It's about something we don't understand because we are meant to be on a different journey at that point of life. But we are suddenly left behind. And we didn't see it coming. And it sucks. And it should never have been done this way. And we would never have done it to them. And both sides are incredibly human.
BUT What would the Dad do? Let them go. Let them make their choices. Let them drop out. Grieve their loss. Pray for them anyway. Love them anyway. Hope for them anyway. Prodigal people are a risk we take when inviting souls into our lives, when we make an investment into relationships. Just because someone leaves physically doesn't mean they leave our heart. And you don't have to pretend that they do.
THE MESSAGE IS...
The story of the Prodigal Son in the Bible ends well. There is an apology. There is forgiveness. There is a celebration.
We don't know how our real-life prodigal situations will end. People may come back; people may never come back. But there is a reason for everything. When someone key consciously chooses to leave overnight without warning, we learn a lot in the process but we won't be the same ever again. The relationship will never be the same. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe it leaves room for a better relationship in the future. And maybe it closes the door to a life lesson. In the meantime, we continue on our journey -- we wait, we watch, we pray, we love. And life still goes on. God has you; God has them... however far away their head and heart might now exist.
And if one day they return ... learn from the Dad. (Luke 15:20) May we be filled with compassion. May we run to them, embrace them, kiss them, forgive them, and throw a huge freaking party. "Because this (friend) of mine was lost, but now is found."
Life is too sacred and too short to do anything else.
xo
Song for Meditation & Reflection:
When God Ran, Phillips Craig & Dean https://youtu.be/hrJBbqEezMI
© 2018 Katie Riley
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