Singing in front of 2000+ people night after night is a humbling experience. It is scary. It is intimidating. It is exhilarating. It is indescribable. The universe reminds you that you are a such small part of a much bigger moment, only a small firing circuit within a tremendous surge of Divine energy.
Many moments in life carry much the same feelings of awe and inspiration. But you know what can kick up almost life up to a whole new notch? Intention. Yes, the practice of living with intention. The practice of mindfully setting intentions. For yourself and other people. A life of intention is powerful and purpose driven. And like yoga, intention is also a PRACTICE.
Singing is a true gift in my life; it is how I best express my heart. Combined with intention, it becomes a powerful ministry. It is how God best channels Divine energy through me. Regardless of the type of music - from showtunes, to Church music, to pop. And while singing for 2000+ people is thrilling, with intention, it's not the numbers that matter. I can be singing for 20 people or 2 people and set the same intention. Feel the same gift and Divine energy flowing. It is moving. And snap! Your heart takes a picture.
Intention is important in everything that we do; with crowds, one on one, or even alone. Back in high school and college, people would often seek me out to give them back, shoulder, and foot massages. Peers. Adults. Family. Even my grandfather who had terminal lung cancer would request a back massage every time he saw me. At 16, I was the only person that could soothe him to sleep toward the end. Everyone swore that my hands had magic powers, but I had no training. And I used to think, "What is so special about my little hands and why are people getting so much out of these massages?" And over years, I started paying more attention and realized a differentiating factor: whenever I put my hands on someone in a healing capacity, I was praying that God reach them through me. Setting intention. (And it's so interesting that now I've become Reiki attuned, and realize that I've been involved in Reiki healing on others since I was a child.)
Whether in theater or church, at the office or giving a retreat, mindful intention has become the backbone of my warm-ups before getting up in front of people. And it's funny, because I didn't even know there was a name for mindfulness or intention. It was just something I always did: "What is my hope for my audience? What is my hope for myself? How can I best be open to allow God to touch these people?" And the grace that flows from honest intention-making hugely impacts my ability to not only reach people, but also to receive God back from them. Intention creates a circle of Divine reciprocity: You are gifting whoever you are intending for; and that positive Divine energy also returns somehow to gift you.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Before my feet hit a stage or an altar or get in front of a microphone, I set intention and pray for my audience. And sometimes, I even bless my audience while I'm standing directly in front of them, "Look at all of these beautiful people, God. They are all yours. May every single one of us on this stage bring them the joy that they are seeking tonight. May we give them the gift of forgetting their struggles or their sadness for the next couple of hours. May we bring them closer to you in the joy that we project. And may they see your face in our faces. Hear your voice in our voices."
"How did you think to set prayerful intention?"
I'm not sure when it started. In church ministry, that's all I've ever felt positioned to do. But in theater, I can remember doing it for at least the last 15 years and especially during Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat when I have a lot of up and down time as the Narrator. It may have begun as a way to calm my own nerves and level set. A way to flow the Divine through me when I'm singing to people. Because when you make the energy about God instead of you, it's a little less scary to be out there all by yourself. When you pray for people, you are giving over your control to the Divine. Inviting God to be right there with you in that moment... and right there with your audience, as well. You're there more on a mission as a conduit and less the reason why something will or will not happen. The gifts that you have been blessed with, you are publicly giving right back to God and God's people. Let God be responsible for it.
And that's just the thing. Whether we're doing something big or small, it's God that's doing the work. It is a beautiful thing to not only feel, but to witness. God changes hearts in the most hopeless of situations. And being a part of that process is so humbling.
"Why the heck do you do that?"
It's not something that I learned, although I'm sure my parents modeled. Prayer and intention are what my soul has done organically, and along the way, I came to awareness of it in my physical being.
I set intention for people because we are a world full of humans. Humans that have laughed and cried. Humans that have had rough family circumstances or faced a breakup or death. Humans that have just gotten engaged or just lost a job or had a miscarriage. Human hearts that needs to be reached in some way. There are so many hopes and dreams and misses and tries sitting right before me in the dark abyss of an audience. And I feel it an opportunity to bless them and pray for them. It's as natural to me as breathing and I let it flow.
There are even some days when I'm walking in New York City and feel positioned to pray for and/or bless people that are walking by me. Sometimes crowds of peoples. In those times, I may even non-nonchalantly wave my right hand over a crowd and ask for blessings upon those people. There has to be someone in that group in need of healing. We are ALL in need of healing.
"Do you always remember to do this?"
Nope. When I'm onstage, my mind is mainly strapped to the mechanics of a show. Lines, notes, numbers, counts. BUT usually the moment catches ME. For example, I had an unexpected 'moment' during the "Megamix" of Mamma Mia the other night. Singing Dancing Queen. Watching all of the 2000+ spectators up on their feet and dancing along with all of us. The joy, the happiness, the celebration. It really got to me. I got choked up. It is at these times that I'm jointly a giver and receiver of Divine energy. Because when I see that much joy before me, I see God. And I recognize how God is touching all those people out there through us; and how much I am being touched by their response. And I offer my thanks right then and there. Powerful.
Your heart takes a picture.
FAST FORWARD
On July 25th, I had my 2nd Reiki session. Like the first time, I arrived to the session without expectation, and was blown away by a super powerful and prayerful encounter with God. There were many moments and many messages. But the one I want to write about today is about a song. Yes. When my reiki master's hands were positioned over my solar plexus, a song started to play inside of me:
"Make me a channel of your peace. Where there is hatred let me bring your love. Where there is injury, your pardon Lord. And where there's doubt, true faith in you."
I've grown up singing this song. I don't even particularly like it. But, it has been STUCK in my head ever since:
"Make me a channel of your peace. Where there's despair in life let me bring hope. Where there is darkness, only light. And where there's sadness ever joy."
I have been making more of a conscious effort to stand in my truth and use my voice to speak it. And when things are "stuck," I've begun to honor them (and myself) by speaking about them to friends, family, other ministers, etc. And it was no different with this:
Oh, master grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love with all my soul.
But this song just won't unstick -- so clearly, my work and learning is not yet done.
Make me a channel of your peace. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; In giving of ourselves that we receive; And in dying that we're born to eternal life.
And as I've meditated with these words, I realized that this piece in essence, is a song about Intention.
With each day that I am focused on my healing, God reveals a little bit more to me of His/Her intention for my life. And I think that is why the Song "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace" has been of such intense impact. Because when I meditate on the words, it represents God's own intention for my life. And therefore my own intention for my life. Which is no surprise, then, why the song would explode out of my solar plexus during reiki.
As I've been struggling with belonging-ness to my own church family, I've been asking God where I'm supposed to be that will be of most impact or service. And I think that part of the answer is that God is allowing me the freedom to fulfill the intention of my life any and everywhere. Because God's energy doesn't only exist in a Church. God's energy is everywhere. And God's energy can flow through me anywhere, and that much more freely when I intend it.
I sometimes wish all of the photos my heart has taken were in some sort of a photo album that I could page through. But then I realize, my life is the photo album. It is all those snippets of Divine moments strung into a story and woven into who Katie is today.
THE MESSAGE
Divine light and energy can flow through all of us. Not just ministers. Not just through "Holy People". Not just to congregants of Churches. Through EVERY SINGLE PERSON. Intention is everything. A heart for good is everything.
LIVE A LIFE OF INTENTION! Mindful intention. Whatever you do in this life, throughout every moment of your day... intend for the Divine to reach others through you. Intention creates space that elevates any task into an opportunity for the Divine to move: If you mix concrete for a living, intend that those who walk into that future building be blessed. If you lay tar, intend that the people who walk on that street feel grounded. If you cut hair, intend that the Divine use your shears to remove the pains of your client. If you're a trainer, intend that you help someone carry their weight today. Intend that the emails and text messages that you send be received in love and peace. Intend that you will only speak words of positivity and support and truth. The possibilities are endless.
Can you imagine what life might be like if we all took a moment to set intention for ourselves and for each other? What if all of us were instruments of peace? What is the Divine's life song for YOU?
And once you set your intention... step back, and let the Divine do the work. And see what happens. For it it truly in giving that we receive.
And SNAP. Your heart takes a picture. Every time.
xo
SONGS FOR MEDITATION & REFLECTION:
Make Me an Instrument by Tony Alonso from Encounter: From the Heart of Pope Francis(w/Jeanne Cotter): https://youtu.be/rclxYMJUyEo
Prayer of Saint Francis by Sarah McLachlan: https://youtu.be/agPnMxp5Occ
Prayer from "Come from Away": https://youtu.be/4BJcwDBRcsk
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